About Me

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Cherry L. is a dessert junkie and self-proclaimed psycho genius dreaming of world domination while creatively avoiding scandals. When not engaged in social interactions, she subconsciously slips off into a parallel universe. Easily distracted by pretty boys and strange objects. Her demonic kiasu-ness and notorious procrastination are genetic.

Thursday, January 28, 2010

McD's Marathon

I am glad that despite having McDs at least once a week after 10pm, I have not outgrown my pants at all.

This week's highlights are as follows:-

1. Major blowout with mum. I don't want to go into the gory details but the silent treatment lasted 3.5 days and we're still tensed until today. The weird thing is that I make one minor cold, slicing remark (the size of an ice shard) and she looses it but my sister can aim at her a flame thrower at 300 degrees Celsius for the entire evening but nothing is brought over to the next morning. Mebbe it's because she thinks I'm often the one who knows better between the two, so any transgression by me becomes 20x more severe. Sigh. Unfortunately, she needs to get used to the fact that she can't throw her weight around 100% of the time and not expect people to retaliate. I'm no longer settling to be their subdued puppet for life.

2. I went into the wrong class for the 3rd time this semester. Actually, they changed rooms and didn't even make mention about it (again).

3. About studying at PIA, I can tell you that it's so much more relaxed than TOA. As in a thousand times. *avoids rotten tomatoes from former TOA classmates* College life here is totally different. Apparently, I'm not the only one who works part time and attends class. It's normal practice. A lot of students here come from Chinese background hence the heavy domination of Mandarin and loud talking people. (It's okay, I overcame my culture shock after week 2. I'm a painfully shy person but am actually very easy to be friends with *nonchalantly pushes the initiative of making friends to other people*)

I am learning a tonne. In one class, I think I am learning more than I did in 2 weeks in TOA. The lecturers here are very technically orientated and they tell you everything to its finest detail. I wouldn't call this spoon feeding because all these are things we paid to learn and to improve ourselves on. In TOA, I think what they are trying to do is force your creative juices to keep pumping even though when you're asleep. (I remember moaning in agony as I squeezed my brain for inspiration for my Typo class)

Assignment wise, the style is really informal and casual. For example, TOA expects us to generate ideas and print out our research and progress every week. I spent more on printing/materials more than I ate. I had to print stacks of paper every week in TOA but I was only asked to show my lecturer my works through my camera's LCD. (o,O) They never compel us to splurge on materials. I think there are pros and cons to this.

Pros: Not all of us are that well off, hence we will try to save as much as possible and use only the necessary. In TOA, I remembered I got a C- because my printed research was only 1/10th the thickness of my classmate's (who got an A). Based on the amount of research compiled, it was no doubt a well deserving grade. On the other hand, I thought the idea of having every student using this unreasonable amount of resources for school work is total BS. Our so-called research consisted of information printed out directly out of Wikipedia and other web content, and there wasn't an ounce of self effort in modifying the contents. If that was the case, I would have just listed the URL and let the lecturer go online and read it. (Off the record, but if this happened in Law school, we would have been expelled on the spot.) This thick RM20-50+ research folio becomes useless right after the lecturer goes through it and gives us our grade. Being a environmentalist, that would be an equivalent of hacking a plank out of a tree. Plus, look we're just students, most of us are not even working and some of us are being supported by scholarships.

Cons: There is a sense of high professionalism in TOA's upbringing of its students. It's so strict and demanding, it's not even funny. I believe that being in the art stream, one has to be passionate and work harder than any other stream because this is a field that most traditional people look down upon. If you can't even pass through this kind of hard training, it will be a struggle for you to make it in the industry. It is a given that only by showing your effort and your works in the most attentive way is the best habit for an artist at the expense of your health, sanity and finances. However, I'm ambiguous as to whether training this hard will burn out anyone's passion and interest. It really depends on the person. I think that one with the constant will to surpass his limitations and overcome his obstacles will shine the brightest in the end.

4. Work. Work is like a curse cast upon the less financially fortunate people of this world. You are bound to it and will suffer severe consequences should you break free from it but at the same time you are so discontented and grieved by the fact that you need to endure it. Work is a security and yet a constraint to your life. Give up your mortgage, car loan, insatiable lust for luxuries and the unnecessary kids (the spawns of your uncontrolled sexual desires or a broken condom) so that you can break free from this bondage of repaying everyone else but yourself. But humans are greedy and impatient creatures and will break their backs to satisfy their never ending desires. They use someone else's money to cover up their own debt and keep doing that until they die unsatisfied because their debts are never settled. When will they realize that the only cure to their torment of not having enough is moderation and control over their finances and stop spending and borrowing money like a crazed monkey?

Anyways, on a lighter note, 45 days till retirement day from the firm. LOL.

Sunday, January 17, 2010

Time Come Back To Me

Today is exactly the 4th month since Po passed away. Feels more than half a year.

Buin is supposed to bring over our puppy 25 minutes ago. Mum and I are still waiting patiently in the warm living room. She's blonde, introverted and we're (tentatively) going to name her Lucky. (Pun combination of her parents name, Larry and Suki)

As an attempt to keep me from falling into afternoon slumber, I shall blog about my 2010 resolutions.

1. Leave my hair long enough and eventually cut it in a way so that I can look like Gogo Yubari from Kill Bill. (That way, chikopeks will be subtly warned by possible disembowelment before they can pull out some hanky panky)



2. Cease sleeping at inhumane hours and start to be more disciplined when it comes to my internet/manga/gaming addiction.

3. Make it a habit to be punctual for everything (not just the things I like). Cease procrastination.

4. Save my skin every way possible.

5. Study hard, get good grades.

6. Pursue my passion aggressively without holding back. Be brave, be strong.

7. Eliminate the poisons and toxins in my life. (ie. negativity, paranoia, insecurity)

8. Meet Choi Siwon (and the rest of the Super Junior) in concert this March. 



9. Endure the remaining 2.5 months of work and tie up whatever loose ends.

10. Get another source of income.

11. Photograph more. Print a photo book.

12. Read like no tomorrow!~

13. Cosplay another 3-5 characters this year. Attend CF 2010. Mebbe if I feel like it, attend a convention overseas.

14. Launch my studio during the first half of the year.

15. Stop fluctuating between weights.

16. Travel more. 1st Quarter: Hong Kong, Italy, UK, Paris; Mid year: Melbourne (mebbe); Year end: Hong Kong (again), Japan/Taipei/Florida (Disney World!) or visit bestie in the US.

17. Play with my pets more! (Not like I'm playing with them any less!)

18. Expand the social circle.

19. Sponsor a child.

20. Blog more.

21. Contribute physically and actually get involved in the activities of my favourite charities.



 

22. Am thinking of being a freelance photojournalist cum designer.

Items to aim for in 2010 (following priority)
  • Nikon 18-200mm lens (by March, because I must take photographs of Choi Siwon up-close)
  • a Macro Lens (considering the 105mm)
  • a Speed Light 
  • Sky Light Filter for Lens
  • Studio Lighting System (Profoto Lamps! *swoon*)
(Mr. Phoon can look forward to good business this year)
  • Ipod Replacement Parts
  • Audio Technologica Headphones (at the next PC Fair)
  • Apple iMac 27-inch Quad Core Home System; fell in love with it's divine performance (December 10' PC Fair)
  • A house before the year ends (while they're still having the 50% stamp duty discount), if I find the right one.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

The Good vs. The Bad

It's 2 weeks into the beginning of the New Year, I hope everyone is still feeling the excitement of new resolutions and have things to look forward to this year. Whatever negative things that have taken place, it is time to move on and leave them with 2009; behind and seize the future!

Been really occupied recently by various things! I have a couple of unfinished draft blog posts pending because I don't have enough time to finish typing them...

Anyway this is my personal summary of 2009:-

  1. Suffered Quarter Life Crisis.
  2. Establishing the Chiko Guild December 2008.
  3. Read a TONNE.
  4. Thought about a lot of things MEGATONNE.
  5. Argued and debated with myself every waking moment.
  6. Learned Japanese.
  7. Organized BBQ, steamboat, buffet, tea time, supper on large scale.
  8. Worked for a year. Thats like H*LY achievement to me because I'm surprised I could endure it for so long considering the fact that I'm supposed to H* the nature of my job. Throughout the whole time, I never verbalized my feelings in complaints about my job because there's no point making myself feel worst about it plus I knew I had to have this job for divine reasons.
  9. Saving enough money for 2 years of college and made it way above my targeted amount which allows me to do more mighty things in the upcoming days. I sacrificed a year of luxuries, not going out for fancy food, shopping or entertainment. I had to cut a lot from my daily expenses. I discovered I could actually survive on drinking Milo for lunch for a week if I had to...
  10. Despite the frugal lifestyle, I am capable of paying my own bills, maintenance and still have a little extra to donate to charity. Am also happy that I was able to give nice birthday and Christmas presents to my family and friends.
  11. Discovered K-Pop and its ecstasy inducing properties which played a major part in pulling me through my depression which could have f*king killed me throughout the entire year.
  12. Fell head over heels in love TWICE. Thank God for Siwon and Taeyang, because they're the reason my heart is still beating (with excitement) everyday.
  13. I still managed to have fun within a reasonable budget; the occasional outstation trips within the country (ie. Cameron Highlands, Penang, JB, KL) karaoke and food sessions, Lost World of Tambun and its Petting Zoo! 
  14. Was invited as a photographer for a couple of public events. 
  15. Broke my Baby. Got back Baby. Realizes how important Baby was to me after we were separated for 3 months and nearly lost him. Vows to take care of him better from now onwards. (My D40x)
  16. Worked as a waitress and experienced my first case of open sexual harassment. After that experience though, I feel as that it is a given that I should have more pride in myself and that it is totally your right to stand up for yourself and learn to protect yourself (and slap the bloody bastard if needed). With my qualities, I don't NEED to work in these kind of places.
  17. Totally losing hope in my parents.
  18. Po passed away in September. Feels as if I have a had part blown off my brain (numb and empty). It's a part where I still find painful to think about. 
  19. Feels genuinely the honour and love of taking care of our elders. Feels like I wanna spoil my goong goong now.
  20. Feels liberated because I don't feel as if I will definitely die pathetically if I can't live off my parents at the expense of giving up my dreams and being a doormat.
  21. Applied for Art College ONCE AGAIN!!! This time I was TOTALLY independent.
  22. Finds a magnetic bracelet which greatly minimizes the pain in my wrist.
  23. Handled a 1 million case.
  24. Got pissed drunk and fainted in a bar. Never again.
  25. Comic Fiesta 2009 was the epic and glorious end of 2009. Finally debuted officially as a cosplayer! And we did quite well too. Met a lot of new like-minded friends.
  26. Lost 4 kg in a week. Gained 2 back the week after.
  27. Welcoming Jack, QQCupcake (the joy of my life), Snow, Franny and later Lucky this year into the family.
  28. Discovered my passion, my pulse and my purpose in life. My troubles have only succeeded in inflaming my determination and my demonic kiasu-ness.
  29. At the end of the year, I feel that I'm a much stronger person in every aspect. Survived my Quarter Life Crisis.
  30. I still believe in love. On a much greater scale than before.
  31. Realizes I'm way much better off than a lot of people and wishes to contribute help every chance I get.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Karma

For slapping you, I am slapped awake by nightmares.
 
For giving you a nosebleed, my heart is torn and bleeding profusely.

I ignored you in need hence I'm ignored in return.
 
I took you for granted all the damn time, so why should you care?
 
I first abandoned you but why do I feel like the one abandoned?

I didn't wait, neither did you.

I couldn't decide, so I can't blame you if you couldn't.

I pretended I didn't care, what can you do but take me seriously...

I'd never said I love you, I'd never said it seriously, I'd never committed, I'd never cherished, I gave up so easily, I don't know what to think or feel any more.