Time Come Back To Me

Today is exactly the 4th month since Po passed away. Feels more than half a year.

Buin is supposed to bring over our puppy 25 minutes ago. Mum and I are still waiting patiently in the warm living room. She's blonde, introverted and we're (tentatively) going to name her Lucky. (Pun combination of her parents name, Larry and Suki)

As an attempt to keep me from falling into afternoon slumber, I shall blog about my 2010 resolutions.

1. Leave my hair long enough and eventually cut it in a way so that I can look like Gogo Yubari from Kill Bill. (That way, chikopeks will be subtly warned by possible disembowelment before they can pull out some hanky panky)

2. Cease sleeping at inhumane hours and start to be more disciplined when it comes to my internet/manga/gaming addiction.

3. Make it a habit to be punctual for everything (not just the things I like). Cease procrastination.

4. Save my skin every way possible.

5. Study hard, get good grades.

6. Pursue my passion aggressively without holding back. Be brave, be strong.

7. Eliminate the poisons and toxins in my life. (ie. negativity, paranoia, insecurity)

8. Meet Choi Siwon (and the rest of the Super Junior) in concert this March. 

9. Endure the remaining 2.5 months of work and tie up whatever loose ends.

10. Get another source of income.

11. Photograph more. Print a photo book.

12. Read like no tomorrow!~

13. Cosplay another 3-5 characters this year. Attend CF 2010. Mebbe if I feel like it, attend a convention overseas.

14. Launch my studio during the first half of the year.

15. Stop fluctuating between weights.

16. Travel more. 1st Quarter: Hong Kong, Italy, UK, Paris; Mid year: Melbourne (mebbe); Year end: Hong Kong (again), Japan/Taipei/Florida (Disney World!) or visit bestie in the US.

17. Play with my pets more! (Not like I'm playing with them any less!)

18. Expand the social circle.

19. Sponsor a child.

20. Blog more.

21. Contribute physically and actually get involved in the activities of my favourite charities.

 

22. Am thinking of being a freelance photojournalist cum designer.

Items to aim for in 2010 (following priority)

• Nikon 18-200mm lens (by March, because I must take photographs of Choi Siwon up-close)
  
• a Macro Lens (considering the 105mm)
  
• a Speed Light 
• Sky Light Filter for Lens
• Studio Lighting System (Profoto Lamps! *swoon*)

(Mr. Phoon can look forward to good business this year)

• Ipod Replacement Parts
• Audio Technologica Headphones (at the next PC Fair)
• Apple iMac 27-inch Quad Core Home System; fell in love with it's divine performance (December 10' PC Fair)
• A house before the year ends (while they're still having the 50% stamp duty discount), if I find the right one.

The Good vs. The Bad

It's 2 weeks into the beginning of the New Year, I hope everyone is still feeling the excitement of new resolutions and have things to look forward to this year. Whatever negative things that have taken place, it is time to move on and leave them with 2009; behind and seize the future!

Been really occupied recently by various things! I have a couple of unfinished draft blog posts pending because I don't have enough time to finish typing them...

Anyway this is my personal summary of 2009:-

1. Suffered Quarter Life Crisis.
2. Establishing the Chiko Guild December 2008.
3. Read a TONNE.
4. Thought about a lot of things MEGATONNE.
5. Argued and debated with myself every waking moment.
   
6. Learned Japanese.
   
7. Organized BBQ, steamboat, buffet, tea time, supper on large scale.
   
8. Worked for a year. Thats like H*LY achievement to me because I'm surprised I could endure it for so long considering the fact that I'm supposed to H* the nature of my job. Throughout the whole time, I never verbalized my feelings in complaints about my job because there's no point making myself feel worst about it plus I knew I had to have this job for divine reasons.
9. Saving enough money for 2 years of college and made it way above my targeted amount which allows me to do more mighty things in the upcoming days. I sacrificed a year of luxuries, not going out for fancy food, shopping or entertainment. I had to cut a lot from my daily expenses. I discovered I could actually survive on drinking Milo for lunch for a week if I had to...
10. Despite the frugal lifestyle, I am capable of paying my own bills, maintenance and still have a little extra to donate to charity. Am also happy that I was able to give nice birthday and Christmas presents to my family and friends.
11. Discovered K-Pop and its ecstasy inducing properties which played a major part in pulling me through my depression which could have f*king killed me throughout the entire year.
    
12. Fell head over heels in love TWICE. Thank God for Siwon and Taeyang, because they're the reason my heart is still beating (with excitement) everyday.
    
13. I still managed to have fun within a reasonable budget; the occasional outstation trips within the country (ie. Cameron Highlands, Penang, JB, KL) karaoke and food sessions, Lost World of Tambun and its Petting Zoo! 
14. Was invited as a photographer for a couple of public events. 
15. Broke my Baby. Got back Baby. Realizes how important Baby was to me after we were separated for 3 months and nearly lost him. Vows to take care of him better from now onwards. (My D40x)
16. Worked as a waitress and experienced my first case of open sexual harassment. After that experience though, I feel as that it is a given that I should have more pride in myself and that it is totally your right to stand up for yourself and learn to protect yourself (and slap the bloody bastard if needed). With my qualities, I don't NEED to work in these kind of places.
17. Totally losing hope in my parents.
    
18. Po passed away in September. Feels as if I have a had part blown off my brain (numb and empty). It's a part where I still find painful to think about. 
19. Feels genuinely the honour and love of taking care of our elders. Feels like I wanna spoil my goong goong now.
20. Feels liberated because I don't feel as if I will definitely die pathetically if I can't live off my parents at the expense of giving up my dreams and being a doormat.
    
21. Applied for Art College ONCE AGAIN!!! This time I was TOTALLY independent.
22. Finds a magnetic bracelet which greatly minimizes the pain in my wrist.
23. Handled a 1 million case.
    
24. Got pissed drunk and fainted in a bar. Never again.
    
25. Comic Fiesta 2009 was the epic and glorious end of 2009. Finally debuted officially as a cosplayer! And we did quite well too. Met a lot of new like-minded friends.
26. Lost 4 kg in a week. Gained 2 back the week after.
27. Welcoming Jack, QQCupcake (the joy of my life), Snow, Franny and later Lucky this year into the family.
    
28. Discovered my passion, my pulse and my purpose in life. My troubles have only succeeded in inflaming my determination and my demonic kiasu-ness.
    
29. At the end of the year, I feel that I'm a much stronger person in every aspect. Survived my Quarter Life Crisis.
30. I still believe in love. On a much greater scale than before.
31. Realizes I'm way much better off than a lot of people and wishes to contribute help every chance I get.
    

Karma

For slapping you, I am slapped awake by nightmares.

 

For giving you a nosebleed, my heart is torn and bleeding profusely.

I ignored you in need hence I'm ignored in return.

 

I took you for granted all the damn time, so why should you care?

 

I first abandoned you but why do I feel like the one abandoned?

I didn't wait, neither did you.

I couldn't decide, so I can't blame you if you couldn't.

I pretended I didn't care, what can you do but take me seriously...

I'd never said I love you, I'd never said it seriously, I'd never committed, I'd never cherished, I gave up so easily, I don't know what to think or feel any more.

The Inner Gamer In Me

OH my chikopek. Playing games is a form of denial and a temporary escape from the world! This is not a good time to get hooked on playing games. I have way too much to do. I put off sewing costumes for two whole days for the reason of trying to unlock every single mini game, puzzle, hidden quests and buy all the items in PvZ. It must stop.

Cleaning my room is a never ending process. It's always so messy and cluttered. I did loads of organizing but somehow, it looks no different than before. WHY do I have so many things...

Anyways, this is my 2009 Xmas Wishlist:-

1) Books on Investing in Real Estate/Stock Market/Forex (in that particular order);
2) Listerine Mouthwash
3) AA Batteries (for various reasons)
4) A5 sized refill paper for my Daily Planner 

(Note: I prefer not to receive stuffed toys, home ornaments, food, accessories, bottles, boxes or anything that would take space in my already out of control cluttered room and my bloated stomach. XD)

Misses Blogging, Misses My D40x

Phoon Photo, Ipoh is a xxxx. I probably would recommend people to buy camera stuff from this shop (because some item prices can be negotiated lower than other places) but DO NOT bring it for repairs.

1. The number 1 reason is for unreasonably slow and inefficient service. 1 whole month to get a QUOTE.  And after endless phone calls everyday since beginning of October. Fotokem replied me within 2 hours and promised 2 weeks repair. It is Month 3 and D40x still is nowhere to be seen. Promised to be delivered to me last week of November for my Hong Kong trip but they failed miserably.

2. He does not tell you that there are RM50 handling fees and minimum RM80 (he imposed RM120 at first, and I reacted horrified) for diagnosing your camera. He only informs you after sending your camera to KL.

3. Technician fees are so much higher without reason. Initial total was RM690, before I managed to negotiate it to RM640. Fotokem quoted RM540 (inclusive of handling charges and misc.) And even if I didn't want to get it fixed, I still have to pay RM120 as ransom for my camera returned to me.

4. He claims that its expensive because his technicians are professional. Yeah right, professional to the point where they had to send it back to KL for the 2nd time because the repairs were FAULTY. I mean, shouldn't the PROFESSIONAL technicians check whether everything was perfect before sending it out again?! And they didn't even have the courtesy to inform me. They asked me to come collect it and I went there (for the 3rd time) just to be let down again.