'Heal the World' was playing on Mix and it reminded me of how my eldest cousin brother became 'popular' by singing that live in school... followed by encores elsewhere (ie. relative's birthday parties). The distance to my workplace is so near that I am only able to listen this one song (that brought back disturbing memories of cousin bro practicing it when we were at our grandparent's house every weekend) and not realize Michael's songs will be played on loop for the whole day.
It felt so surreal when my collegue told me he died this morning. I remembered back in UK, my classmate, Jane would go starry eyed when fantasing going to MJ's concert. It's sad cuz we'll never to be able to do so.
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The ending of this week has been b*tch packed. Some women are really difficult. Even myself, at times I'll admit.
It's the kind of women who are blind and justified towards their own vices but unrealistically demand excellence from other people that is so frustrating. They put you down to boost their own ego.
Look, enough about "Working life is like that." Like I don't know already.
In life, when you treat people badly, there is karma. There is an invisible counter for the things you do to people. Good for good, bad for bad. When you make people dislike you, they will be less likely to perform well for you or even care about you. They might do it out of obligation, but everyone will be waiting to laugh during the day of your downfall. In more extreme cases, they will lash back and destroy you.
Your way isn't the only way of life. And when you reap the results of your actions, "Life is like that. You reap what you sow."
My only remorse is that, my boss didn't want to confront me directly about the accusations in fear of hurting my feelings, but by doing so, he neglected to let me recount my side of the story before passing the death sentence on me. By the time the story passes on to various people it would have evolved to version 5-6 of the story. And it's just saddening to be the last to know about something bad about yourself when it has passed through ears of half of the civilization before that.
Look, I'm not a kid anymore. If something needs to be said and mistakes to correct, tell me. I understand a lot of money is being involved and any slight mistake will cost the firm loss in monetary and clientele. I'd expect to be be scolded as stupid and incompetent in the process but as long as business has gone through, I can let go of a past insult with an peaceful heart and learn not to make the same mistakes again.
He seems to have an imagery of me based solely on other people's opinions. I know he is concerned of my well being therefore he keeps an eye on me by questioning my performance. For example, how would my collegues know how many files I was handling and the amount of work I had to do everyday? He could have asked me directly to make a list of my cases and the work I had to do or else check the records from HR.
I know most of the time I don't stand out in doing things, but it doesn't mean I'm receiving a salary for nothing. How I handle my cases are witnessed by my files. I operate documents on the day I receive them and send them out on the same day or the next and the dates are all documented.
This is just a rant. Obviously, it doesn't change the position I'm in. Impressions have been reversed and my ability to work has been tarnished by one mistake covering the fervent retributions I made after that.
I'm not discouraged by work. In fact, after this week, I make it a call for more improvement and a brush up on office politics survival skills and to discontinue being the softie I am. It's a dog eat dog world out there and I believe it is important to be self centered and protect your own @ss against backstabbers.
1 comment:
there are bound to be office politics wherever we are. gotta alwis keep a strong and firm stand and u'll survive. i believe u can! ;)
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