During my time of weakness, I long for the days that someone would call out of concern to see whether I'm still alive, shout at me when discovering I haven't eaten the whole day, offer (more like force) food delivery service to my house and watch me eat till the last drop of food.
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I failed the first day of punching my card despite my best intentions the night before.
Oh, I feel as if I my bones turned into lead. Couldn't get out of bed. It's like my whole body were asleep. Thank God for the potent coffee at work. I came home during noon to sleep, skipped lunch because there was nothing to eat, back at work, home, continued sleeping, skipped dinner because I really couldn't move, finally woke up because Ryan called, online, wanton mee, ham bun...
Lesleh and classmates came over Ipoh yesterday for research to create a corporate identity for Ipoh. The following happened; dimsum, exploring Old Town, railway station, missionary schools, 100 yen shop, Greentown, the temple caves, pomelo and Ipoh leng lui sighting, playing with my dogs, chilling at my house, nyonya dinner, yum cha at Kinta river front.
I felt belonging because everyone had a DSLR. I'm so hyped about getting my 50mm.
Got the chance to 'kau chim' at the temple for fun. You know, shaking a bunch of sticks in a can like we always watch in TVB costume dramas. Was so noob, like asking how much do I need to pay, where's the can, do I need to kneel down to shake the can, who can explain the 'chim'? Lols. I only got it half deciphered because the rest of it was too complicated. My 'chim' was - It's raining now, but the sun will be out once the rain ends. Money is yet to come. Regarding love, do not force the issue, all will come naturally.
Aih, will just listen to advise with an open heart from now onwards. My heart is burdened and tired as it is. My brain has no more power to argue. Right now, I just want to live without conflict and put certain things behind me, because it's easier. The road towards an 'easy' life is hard too. So many compromises and adaptions to make, beliefs to be altered, you need to constantly be mentally and emotionally convinced of what you're doing. If this is what's best, why is my heart and soul so unsettled and not at peace?
Been spending the past half a year reading self improvement books on every aspect of life, only to realize there is no specific answer. You can be 'wrong' in doing the 'right' thing and be 'right' in doing the 'wrong' thing. It all depends on your core values what perspective to see things.
I did some soul searching and realize that if without any restriction or objection from anybody, I just want to live my life peacefully and happily using my gifts for the well-being of everyone around me. I'm sick of the rat race and the constant need to live up to expectations. It never ends. First, I'm promise it'll stop after getting my Law Degree, but look at now, I'm expected to take up the Bar, chamber, work in a Law firm, practice, go to court and to open my own law firm...
As of today, I'm just a humble conveyancing clerk, not intending to practice, learning my way to handling REIT investments and bank/business financing in order to earn my own life in my own way. I ultimately want to have business running on the side and spend most of my time being a homemaker and freelance artist. I honestly just want to live in peace, without everyone making a big deal about living up to my family standards. Maybe I won't be as filthy rich, but I'm determined to give my kids no less the life and education than what I received myself.
---
I failed the first day of punching my card despite my best intentions the night before.
Oh, I feel as if I my bones turned into lead. Couldn't get out of bed. It's like my whole body were asleep. Thank God for the potent coffee at work. I came home during noon to sleep, skipped lunch because there was nothing to eat, back at work, home, continued sleeping, skipped dinner because I really couldn't move, finally woke up because Ryan called, online, wanton mee, ham bun...
Lesleh and classmates came over Ipoh yesterday for research to create a corporate identity for Ipoh. The following happened; dimsum, exploring Old Town, railway station, missionary schools, 100 yen shop, Greentown, the temple caves, pomelo and Ipoh leng lui sighting, playing with my dogs, chilling at my house, nyonya dinner, yum cha at Kinta river front.
I felt belonging because everyone had a DSLR. I'm so hyped about getting my 50mm.
Got the chance to 'kau chim' at the temple for fun. You know, shaking a bunch of sticks in a can like we always watch in TVB costume dramas. Was so noob, like asking how much do I need to pay, where's the can, do I need to kneel down to shake the can, who can explain the 'chim'? Lols. I only got it half deciphered because the rest of it was too complicated. My 'chim' was - It's raining now, but the sun will be out once the rain ends. Money is yet to come. Regarding love, do not force the issue, all will come naturally.
Aih, will just listen to advise with an open heart from now onwards. My heart is burdened and tired as it is. My brain has no more power to argue. Right now, I just want to live without conflict and put certain things behind me, because it's easier. The road towards an 'easy' life is hard too. So many compromises and adaptions to make, beliefs to be altered, you need to constantly be mentally and emotionally convinced of what you're doing. If this is what's best, why is my heart and soul so unsettled and not at peace?
Been spending the past half a year reading self improvement books on every aspect of life, only to realize there is no specific answer. You can be 'wrong' in doing the 'right' thing and be 'right' in doing the 'wrong' thing. It all depends on your core values what perspective to see things.
I did some soul searching and realize that if without any restriction or objection from anybody, I just want to live my life peacefully and happily using my gifts for the well-being of everyone around me. I'm sick of the rat race and the constant need to live up to expectations. It never ends. First, I'm promise it'll stop after getting my Law Degree, but look at now, I'm expected to take up the Bar, chamber, work in a Law firm, practice, go to court and to open my own law firm...
As of today, I'm just a humble conveyancing clerk, not intending to practice, learning my way to handling REIT investments and bank/business financing in order to earn my own life in my own way. I ultimately want to have business running on the side and spend most of my time being a homemaker and freelance artist. I honestly just want to live in peace, without everyone making a big deal about living up to my family standards. Maybe I won't be as filthy rich, but I'm determined to give my kids no less the life and education than what I received myself.
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