Half of me is filled with a great potential of happiness, the other half is also filled with genuine sadness. I came to recognize that they coexist. Sometimes when I experience a happy event, I will be reminded of the existing sadness, and the vice versa happens; happiness to sooth out my sadness. I supposed that makes me quite a balanced person..
Most of the time, I'm capable of letting out a hearty appreciative laugh when I'm with certain people. After that temporary high, I revert to being calm and collected, most of the time lost in thoughts.
I think I've mellowed over the years. Life is increasingly serious. Sometimes I feel that I won't be able to be truly joyful for a permanent period in my life. Right now, my joyful moments are just bits and pieces I constantly collect. It's like fuel to a car, they are essential to keep the car moving but has to be constantly filled up.
In a way I'm glad that I've found back some footing in my passion in art, design, craft, cosplay and games. Really good way to keep distracted and from becoming idle to the point my brain has a diarrhea of detrimental thoughts.
Po's time with us feels too short. I suppose that's how it is with a lot of other people. I'm just greedy with one thing in my life. Don't need a lot of holidays, don't need a lot of fancy things.
The future looks uncertain. Sometimes I get quite disinterested to pursue it. Feels like once my youth and vigour is gone, I don't really know what can ever go on in my life again. Rather mundane.
Maybe in real fact, people like to wallow in their drawbacks. Gives them some sort of 'purpose' to dream that they will eventually escape it. Some things, once achieved, lose meaning.
Annoyed. Annoyed that a lot of people can't appreciate the good things that happen to them and keep on being envious of others. They come around as very toxic and poisonous people to be with.
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