This Is Not An Ordinary Phase

But yet again, there is always a rock bottom to every phase and eventually after you've managed to hit it, all you will be going is back UP.

I realized that sometimes, all the constant support, encouragement and advise from your friends and family only succeeds in justifying your self pity and sometimes make you feel even rotten about yourself.

However, it just takes a small jolt from your enemy to get you to pull yourself together and stop continuing to make yourself look like an idiot and a loser.

Thank God for enemies. He has a purpose for everything.

 

I Prayed To God And There You Were

I sometimes think that, this joke of life has gone too far. Speaking about building you up and letting you fall from the highest position that you'd break.

This has happened just time and again, it doesn't even surprise me any more, but it still hurts like hell when it does. At this moment, I become really confused. Have I done something wrong to deserve this? Are just all the people I manage to meet and think are good people are wolves in sheeps' skin instead? Why do they even exist to harm other people?

Throughout my whole life, I have only seriously prayed for one thing to God. I don't think it has been answered and I'm getting extremely impatient and exasperated at all the walls I've been hitting. 

It's like my entire world is shattered. I don't even have an obsession to distract me. I just lost passion for everything I used to find joy to; anime, comics, cosplaying, video games, reading, holidaying, plays, good food, musicals, art... My spirit is dead. Everything feels meaningless and unfulfilling. I have this black hole in my heart and nothing is able to fill it. 

Honestly, I hope that I would just black out. Anytime. There is nothing in this world that is holding me..

I berasa emo. Terasa nak mega MIA. Don't want to talk to people.

Let's hope this week is a better week.