Office & Politics

Abang Michael may you rest in peace. Your music and dancing will always be in my heart.

'Heal the World' was playing on Mix and it reminded me of how my eldest cousin brother became 'popular' by singing that live in school... followed by encores elsewhere (ie. relative's birthday parties). The distance to my workplace is so near that I am only able to listen this one song (that brought back disturbing memories of cousin bro practicing it when we were at our grandparent's house every weekend) and not realize Michael's songs will be played on loop for the whole day.

It felt so surreal when my collegue told me he died this morning. I remembered back in UK, my classmate, Jane would go starry eyed when fantasing going to MJ's concert. It's sad cuz we'll never to be able to do so.

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The ending of this week has been b*tch packed. Some women are really difficult. Even myself, at times I'll admit.

It's the kind of women who are blind and justified towards their own vices but unrealistically demand excellence from other people that is so frustrating. They put you down to boost their own ego.

Look, enough about "Working life is like that." Like I don't know already.

In life, when you treat people badly, there is karma. There is an invisible counter for the things you do to people. Good for good, bad for bad. When you make people dislike you, they will be less likely to perform well for you or even care about you. They might do it out of obligation, but everyone will be waiting to laugh during the day of your downfall. In more extreme cases, they will lash back and destroy you.

Your way isn't the only way of life. And when you reap the results of your actions, "Life is like that. You reap what you sow."

My only remorse is that, my boss didn't want to confront me directly about the accusations in fear of hurting my feelings, but by doing so, he neglected to let me recount my side of the story before passing the death sentence on me. By the time the story passes on to various people it would have evolved to version 5-6 of the story. And it's just saddening to be the last to know about something bad about yourself when it has passed through ears of half of the civilization before that.

Look, I'm not a kid anymore. If something needs to be said and mistakes to correct, tell me. I understand a lot of money is being involved and any slight mistake will cost the firm loss in monetary and clientele. I'd expect to be be scolded as stupid and incompetent in the process but as long as business has gone through, I can let go of a past insult with an peaceful heart and learn not to make the same mistakes again.

He seems to have an imagery of me based solely on other people's opinions. I know he is concerned of my well being therefore he keeps an eye on me by questioning my performance. For example, how would my collegues know how many files I was handling and the amount of work I had to do everyday? He could have asked me directly to make a list of my cases and the work I had to do or else check the records from HR.

I know most of the time I don't stand out in doing things, but it doesn't mean I'm receiving a salary for nothing. How I handle my cases are witnessed by my files. I operate documents on the day I receive them and send them out on the same day or the next and the dates are all documented.

This is just a rant. Obviously, it doesn't change the position I'm in. Impressions have been reversed and my ability to work has been tarnished by one mistake covering the fervent retributions I made after that.

I'm not discouraged by work. In fact, after this week, I make it a call for more improvement and a brush up on office politics survival skills and to discontinue being the softie I am. It's a dog eat dog world out there and I believe it is important to be self centered and protect your own @ss against backstabbers.

I Hath Net Access In Office

I no longer need to run over to the freezing accounts department to do bank online updating and bankruptcy searches.

Yes, I'm brroooggin' at work.

Think about all the other evils I can do from today...

(RO being in my pendrive next to me now... *evil snicker*)

Of course play must wait till lunch time. My work performance has been tripping at certain stages this week. Kai-Ma came into our office and was shocked to catch me with 'muka perempuan tension gila' today. My brain is also a bit jumbled up because my multitasking ability has found its match.

Our church has a food fair on the 20th of April (Monday) (also the Perak Sultan's birthday) so do come and give support (to me because I'm making coffee and my coffee is good).

My Blurness

It crossed my mind to get myself a personal assistant to keep track of my cases, see that I don't misplace my documents, do my photocopying, check my spelling mistakes, make sure that I don't look like a fashion disaster, get enough sleep and that I take my vitamins in time.

I forgot to bring my lunch to work despite packing it up so well this morning. Thank God, since my house is like only 3 minutes away, I asked my mum to drop by when she's about going out to town. At least now I manage to keep track of the bigger issues at the expense of forgetting the small details.

My Monday at work was a tad messed up, mostly because of my personal carelessness. I am trying my best to rectify things before the week ends and hopefully to set my good record straight again. I think I would be bringing out my Law books to read just so that I know as much as I should, having studying Law for 3 years. Well, at least this time I'm not studying for the sake of passing my exams but for leisure.

Work is really pushing me out of my comfort zone. For example, I really hate talking on the phone or talking to people (especially difficult people) but it's all part of the job to do so (and do so properly). Secondly, carelessness and procrastination being my first nature, a job with high responsibilities and severe penalties if I fail to meet expectations allows me to shed it off.

One habit which I find exceptionally difficult to break for the past quarter of my life is my utmost disregard for punctuality. I am well aware that this attitude will be the downfall of my otherwise near-perfect professional ethics. I suspect that the reason behind my unacceptable behavior runs deeper than the common logic of poor time management. In fact, I sense that it is driven by a unconscious psychological basis...

Being late gives me a rush. And I'm addicted to it. XD

Gloomy Afternoon

It's lunch period. I'm having the cramps. But my recent moodiness had nothing to do with PMS (maybe just a little). God, help me survive through this month of February! Waiting for my next pay to come in. Fufufu. This reminds me of the time I was working here in 06'. When I just tried to do things to fill up my time and mind and hope time will pass eventually leading to a 'better day' (God knows what the bleep I'm actually waiting for).

My biggest fear of life is boredom and absolute incompetence. I am always worrying what if I had nothing to do, nothing to think about and blah. Or else, what if I don't do my part to contribute to the society? I also dread the day God will hold me accountable on how well I lived my life; whether I was a good human and did live with dignity. I must admit that the accounts are rather messy right now. Someone tell me I'm worrying unnecessarily and I should just stop self pitying myself and start appreciating everything I have now.

Just a few silly minutes ago, I discovered a new sub category for our existing collections of 'Gurauan' (meaning 'Humour'/'Jokes') If anyone has followed Shin Chan obsessively, they would recollect hearing the Gurauan Itali (which utterly makes no sense except the fact that it involves spaghetti used in the most bizarre manner). So eventually, Xian and I came up with other versions of Gurauan (incl. Gurauan India, Gurauan Malaysia, Gurauan Jepun etc.)

So within this week, my mum came up with a few statements that would fall under the category of 'Gurauan Orang Kaya' (which would also later lead to the discovery of 'Gurauan Orang Miskin'). Simply put, if anyone who has followed the anime Ouran High School Host Club will automatically identify what falls within 'Gurauan Orang Kaya' ie. jokes that 'commoners' will not find flattering / indirectly offensive / making no sense at all, while at the same time highlight the extraordinariness of being rich.

From yesterday's example:-

Me: Mum, we have a matchmaking request from my high school friend. She has a female poodle the same breed as Larry*. Considering the fact that you are constantly showing signs of wanting to have grandchildren recently, it seems that the youngest among us siblings (mum calls Larry her 'son') is able to fulfil your wish. Btw, her name is Suki and is Larry's age. Since they're both poodles, I think it's a good idea to let them breed.

*If you haven't known, Larry is my mother's precious poodle that I think she loves more than me.

Mum: (muka totally uninterested) Aiya, Larry's a virgin you know... (I read her mind and I heard, "So cannot just simply offer his precious virginity to some commoner poodle and have his heirs to our family's empire.") What if we bred Larry and Husky? The puppy would be a Poo-sky / Poo-ky! (Gurauan Anjing, which is the current trend among the tai-tai's of our family who constantly like to brag about their dogs.)

Me: Mother, what a horrible and vulgar combination for a name. Even for some miraculous way they manage to mate (in consideration of their vast difference in size), I don't dare to imagine what monster will come out.

Me: Oh and Ryan's got a new puppy. I think it's a Shih Tzu. Her name is Kim Chee and is very cute and playful.

Mum: (muka air liur meleleh) Oh so then they can give birth to a Shih-Poo / Poo-Shih. *syiok sendiri*

Me: Why are you so excited to become in laws with Auntie Jennifer? Just now you just totally ignored my first suggestion. Why you pei si other people's dog's background, not good enough for your dog izit?

Mum: (more air liur meleleh dan ketawa perempuan tamak) Your pa's favourite conditions ma, "Chuk Mun Dui Chuk Mun".*

*(literally meaning Bamboo door facing Bamboo door, it says that the bride and groom's family must be of equal standing. The opposite version would be "Muk Mun Dui Muk Mun" (Wooden Door facing Wooden Door) Bamboo was considered to be more exquisite and expensive than wood, therefore rich people will often have bamboo made doors.)

...if it's applicable to the dog, how much more strict the conditions would be on me and my siblings.

There, one of the most recent Gurauan Orang Kaya. Not everyone will know how to appreciate it (because it happens often to our Shin Chan jokes). And if you feel that it amuses you, I would be inclined to submit a daily dose of the amusements of the rich people on occassion.

Coffee/Tea

I should save the coffee for emergencies, when I'm about to drop dead on my desk. It usually has to do with eating too much for lunch. It's so cold in the office that my hands have turned dead purple. We often keep the windows open but my Kai-ma prefers it locked in case any one of us 'falls' out (usually intentionally LoLx).

I pray to God that my sister gets a job or whatever. Our schedules clash so violently, it only makes room for more violence.

Today is the first working day of February.

Time does fly when you're busy with so many things. At first, I thought I would have this mini-celebration celebrating my first month of surviving work to encourage myself, but my first month went pretty smoothly on and I feel that working for the next few months should be okay.

I'm rather moody right now because I have been putting off sending my laptop to be fixed. I want to play RO asap. I want to revert to my life revolving work, food, video games/TV programmes and sleep. It is undeniably the safest and most comfortable way to live.


Often, I feel underappreciated and taken for granted. I feel like withdrawing myself from certain people out of bitterness and hopelessness so that they would just realize how much have I been contributing to their lives. With good intentions, I consciously try to influence people into improving themselves and breaking through their comfort zones. Right now I’m subjected to believe that maybe I should be just thinking about my own wellbeing and improvements.


I should make it a habit to concentrate when I am drinking. I have been choking a lot on my drinks recently. It usually happens like this; I'm sipping something and my brain starts drifting towards some random thought and when I happen to snap back into reality in the course of drinking, I choke on whatever I'm drinking.

Went up to Cameron Highlands last Saturday with family and cousins.

The Antisocial Life of a Workaholic

I am OT-ing in the office. Because. I don't feel like going home. And my net has been struck by lightning. I'm admittedly addicted to work because it provides me with this kind of security from the troubles of the outside world and every time I accomplish something, it gives me a kick. By the time I get home, I just wanna shower, eat and chill with a book or a movie. I LOVE a good yum cha session when I don't feel so tired though.

Can you believe I haven't really talked to my mum (other than Hi and Good Night) for weeks now? I've been putting off lunch appointments because I have a lot of things to follow up in the office. Granma's in out the hospital nearly every fortnight. I only get to visit her on the weekends when I really have spare time.

I wonder how everyone else is doing at TOA. There's stress at work but at least you don't need to bring it back home (homework! :P). I'm really enjoying this break from studying. Not much of regrets. I kinda thought that I might join a local art college (PIA maybe) and complete my diploma when everything else has settled. Apparently, there're emerging more art galleries in Ipoh. I feel pretty inspired. My Japanese sensei owns her own art gallery and we have our lessons there. Her kids are really cool too.

My Nikon is waiting to be admitted to the camera hospital. *sigh*

My sister went to Kampar with Xian. I shall send psychic waves to her wishing that she brings back egg tarts.

Clients

Today I learnt a very important rule about dealing with clients. We must always assume that they are stupid and never, as in NEVER let them handle anything. Aside barging into your office without being invited or prior notice and assuming that their case is the only case you're handling, we must prevent further damage by stopping them from playing God when things don't seem to go their way.

Despite their best efforts, they will only suceed in complicating things and leave you to clear up the mess of their irresponsible actions. The possible consequences of their inexperienced meddling may include:-

1) having to deal with bank officers who are nothing but talk, adding more confusion;
2) sending you on wild goose chases in clarifying what the hell they are talking about;
3) demanding that you go all the way to their office to let them sign the documents just because they are the only people in the world who think time is so scarce that even picking up their mobile is a waste of their precious seconds till the point they have to rely heavily on their handsfree plugged into their ear 24/7;
4) looking bad in front of your collegues;
5) your boss mentally promoting you to the first in the list should there be a need for retrenchment.

The Ipoh Daily

Now I understand why Jo finds it so entertaining to blog during work hours. I actually have work pending, but I just feel so distracted at the moment and I have submitted to feed my guilty pleasure. My phone line died, taking my internet connection with it when it got struck by lightning. Oh the boredom.

My days at work are as such; most days you'll lose yourself within stacks of work with incoming deadlines crashing into you at 140km/hr or else you'll be just sitting there hoping something interesting would happen (say marbles falling out of the sky). Sometimes, I would get lost in the excitement of work, it is in a way interesting .learning something new,

I hardly felt my weekend. It came and went and it was Monday again. Dropped dead Friday night after spending the entire night out in which we had 3 rounds of food (steamboat, ice cream and mamak). Entered the office on Saturday. 4 course dinner at Citrus (oh the madness). Hung out at Xian's place chatting and snacking till 3:30 in the morning. I said to my sister that I'd hope that Ai Ling wasn't baking anything, because I would definitely eat it (despite the heavy dinner). She was baking cookies...

It seems that when I am not doing anything else, I will be eating something. Life is such in Ipoh.

Miraculously dragged myself up for church on Sunday. Provided moral support to my sister as she made cream puffs. I fell asleep while waiting to meet up with Simo-san, my long lost nephew who will return to America the next day. He hasn't changed much after 2 years, which is cool.

Work. Play. Life.

My Kai-ma assigned me a box of FILES regarding loans as a belated Xmas present. She hopes that I will be esctatic with my new assignments for the rest of this week and may the new knowledge and experience passed to me will be of great value to my life. >n<

Mum asks me whether I was enjoying my work. 'Enjoyable' wouldn't be the accurate word. I would say however, that when you're put into something that challenges you out of your comfort zone furthermore it is something that you were convinced that you didn't have what it takes to perform it, AND you manage to overcome it, you feel absolutely amazing.

(There were a couple of moments during office time that I felt like I was really smart because I surpassed my own expectations.)

For example, GWD I still have a lingering paranoia of talking through the phone. As in, I have this impression once you place the receiver to your ear, some demon will come out and possess your body through your ear. In my position, phone calls are a norm, if not a necessity. And I was representing the firm. Sh*t. But then I did it and I felt that I could do it again.

There was also the fear of not being able to cope and understand all the legal terms and figuring out how to handle a case. The insecurity of being not smart enough and anxiety of what if I mess up big time/all the time? What if I let everyone down and spiral into depression and self depreciation because I become convinced that I'm so stupid and useless...

That aside, I was confident of my decision to work in this firm from the beginning. (That proves I can't be all that stupid.) Generally, I know that my superiors are generous with their knowledge and are willing to take the trouble of going over my questions and problems (however lame) unlike many other firms. There's drama nonetheless, but politics and cat-fights were mild to none. I believe I will be well guided and educated, not only in knowledge but also character-wise. I'm pretty careless but at least I know that my boss won't kill me (because he can) but will truly make me go through some tough times to learn out of my mistakes.

2009

About the mystery of my sudden disappearance, speculate no more. In order to escape the year end disasters of 2008 in Malaysia I decided to seek refuge in Siberia under the care of my imaginary brother Fei. During my 3 month retreat, I have learnt the basic mating language of penguins, learnt how to catch fish from the polar bears and 3 ways how to not to wrestle a whale. I have returned wiser and more enlightened to the effects of global warming.

(Jo, look how much your crap blog influenced me. x)

Then again, how else do artsy-fartsy people like us who live with stacks of paper containing legal diarrhea, deadlines, insensitive clients and demeaning bosses survive this world without some crazy humour..

I have returned to work at ‘the Office’.

*My place of work will be referred to as… ‘the Office’. (for security reasons ahem)

Anyways, working here in 2009 is different from a few years back when I was a mere peon clerk because I have my personal FILES. FILES in which my head is at stake should I mess up in potentially 1 million different ways. I am officially initiated into the world of white collars (because Kai-ma thinks it’s unbecoming to wear Bohemian inspired attire while I’m conversing with clients).

Day 1

8:30am : I was in time for work (Fuahahahaha. Eat your heart out all of those who have doubted my ability to wake up before 9 am and be on time for work.)

8:32am : My office is brilliant. I am facing my boss (and sometimes his grumpy clients) directly, separated by a sheet of glass. No really, my office is brilliant. I’m sharing it with Abi but it is spacious enough to accommodate our two desks, 2 sofas, lotsa cupboards, our brand new typewriter and maybe an airbed. Thank you to Ryan for rearranging my new office till the point you got injured in the course of duty. I will think of you every time I look at my furniture… >3<

9:20am : I took 1 hour to admire my office organized my desk and computer while waiting for the boss to come in. When they did, I was immediately assigned a FILE. So a typical first day of work for me would be naturally start off with plenty of confusion and weird events like discovering a mistakenly assigned file in which we only found out it was mistakenly assigned AFTER I have prepared executable documents, bills and a cheque.

10:40am : Other than learning how to manage files, I had to learn how to endure the bitter cold. Kai-ma insists that we must have the air-conditioner at full blast ‘in the event’ where a client walks into out office (predictably, such person did not appear) and finds our office warm and stuffy.

11:20am : I was told that I should cease being friends with the photocopier because there were more urgent duties to see to than to hang around the copier dreaming about what I’m going to have for lunch while waiting for the 108 pages of my SPA to be copied. I was to bestow the manual labour of photocopying to others from now onwards… *gasp*

1:30pm : I was so hungry I finished a plate of rice during lunch. *shocked*

2:40pm : Works like crazy. Wished I could ‘kage bunshin’ because I had to be everywhere at the same time and listen to multiple people give instructions at the same time. I think I went up and down the stairs about 10 times today. In-out office 30 times +.

5:35pm : Today I managed to learn:- Maybank loans, Public Bank loans, RHB loans… Starts to get a migraine. I had so much information passed on to me, I didn’t even dare to breathe, in case some of the things get exhaled out of my memory along with the carbon dioxide. I was to come to the office again tomorrow. Saturday. To learn more about loans.

6:45pm : I was so hungry (again) I downed another plate of rice. I have never in the past 4 years of my life had 2 bowls of rice a day and still feel hungry enough to eat carrot cake after that. My brain has incinerated all my food for fuel today…

Thing is, I’m not going to complain about being sucked into doing Law. How much worst can life get? I’ve already received all the major blows within a span of 3 months and I somehow survived it all and am constantly working to make my life much more meaningful. I have managed to stabilize myself on a solid position of positive thinking and I must admit it has worked wonders. Life sucks but once you’ve learnt to take on the bull by its horns (naturally you’ll get mauled half to death in the beginning), persistence eventually prevails, but learn to back off sometimes to rethink your strategies and choose your battles wisely. Challenges, if they don’t kill you, will only make you stronger.

I quote from Mulan, “The flower which blooms in adversity is the rarest and most beautiful of all.” What a kick-ass quote.

I'm going to sleep with a bloated stomach...