Ha Ha

I must be a f*king masochist.

I've honestly told myself before that I'm never keen in putting myself into compromising situations because I don't have what it takes when it eventually f*ks my up mind and emotions.

I suppose since I acted out of uncontrollable curiousity and insecurity, this is exactly the reults I have to put up with for the rest of my life. So much for instant gratification and deliberate ignorance of common sense.

Like look, you've made it thus far, there is no point in looking back and letting out the skeletons in the closet. Leave it alone and don't look back and let it drag you back to the past.

I wished my heart stopped beating. I feel awfully sick.

September Ended, So wake Up.

My brother is doing his homework by himself... So impressed.

Sis has started baking class across the road. Bro and I just finished up the donuts she brought back yesterday.

Backtrack all the things going on during Sept:-

On top of my ongoing depression attacks, Po passed away mid-Sept. I don't think I'm even ready to talk about it in detail yet. Just that, I feel rather indifferent towards it all, but maybe deep into my subconsciousness, it robbed a huge part of motivation and support. Always kinda thought po would be around to see me get married. But alas, even after meeting all the boyfriends of my younger counterparts, I have yet to bring home someone who (I assume) is worthy of her approval. But yeah, her standards are super high x1,000,000... so probably this person does not exist in this world, so impossible I can find.

What was good was that my cousins came back for the funeral. Always good to see family. And everyone took turns treating dinner, which meant we had good food for about 5 days in a row.

Went to the petting zoo twice in Tambun after the cremation and burial 2 days in a row with different people.

Oh work is exhausting my batteries... Must think of more things to amuse myself.