Reflections During Lunch Period

“The way God is going to teach you the good qualities in life is to put you in the exact opposite situation. How will God teach you joy? By putting you in the middle of sorrow. How will God teach you love? By putting you around difficult people. How will God teach you peace? By putting you in the middle of chaos. God never wastes a hurt. He can bring good out of anything.”

~Rick Warren

I can only trust in God that everything I went through for the past half a year is going to lead to something greater eventually. If so, I think I can safely believe that my pain and suffering will not be wasted. >3< FIGHTING!~

Abi (my last remaining friend in Ipoh) is leaving to another firm starting from tomorrow. We'lll probably still get to see each other on Saturdays when we are OT-ing.

Her Honourable Duck Highness is returning to town today/tomorrow. We'll be going Penang the end of April (because I miss the beach/sea/sun/sand, the char kuey teow/laksa/air tebu emas/houjian/ikan bakar and hopefully catch a hot Penang merman who speaks Hokkien while I'm there).

Boys Over Flowers is ending soon. My future suddenly feels uncertain because that is the only thing I look forward to after coming back from work for the past few weeks (aside from Steph's wonderful dinners, in which we're having spaghetti bolognese tonight XD~)

BTW Steph, let's learn to dance to this. XD

MV Dedication

Before I leave the office, Abi led me into watching this absolutely adorable (albeit a bit logic-defying shameless) vid.

After watching it, I can't help but to make reference to the recent happenings on my anak emas Jo's blog.

By no means this is another bitch slap, because apparently, hatchets have been buried and this has become stale news (despite happening only last Friday). I think it's a pity that as a result of pettiness and silliness, someone had their blog shut down.

People Change.

On 22-04-2005...

Your dating personality profile: Religious - Faith matters to you. It is the foundation that you build your life upon. You trust that God has a plan for you. Funny - You laugh often. People never accuse you of lacking a sense of humor. You don't take yourself too seriously. Traditional - Modern culture does not move you. You hold traditional values dear to your heart.

Your date match profile: Traditional - You need someone who is a bit old-fashioned. A person with traditional values and beliefs will perfectly compliment your lifestyle. Practical - You are drawn to people who are sensible and smart. Flashy, materialistic people turn you off. You appreciate the simpler side of living. Religious - You seek someone who is grounded in faith and who possesses religious values. You believe that a religious person can enhance your life.

Your Top Ten Traits 1. Religious 2. Funny 3. Traditional 4. Big-Hearted 5. Practical 6. Athletic 7. Liberal 8. Adventurous 9. Wealthy/Ambitious 10. Romantic

Your Top Ten Match Traits 1. Traditional 2. Practical 3. Religious 4. Funny 5. Romantic 6. Conservative 7. Shy 8. Big-Hearted 9. Athletic 10. Adventurous

As of 25-03-2009.

Your dating personality profile: Big-Hearted - You are a kind and caring person. Your warmth is inviting, and your heart is a wellspring of love. Liberal - Politics matters to you, and you aren't afraid to share your left-leaning views. You would never be caught voting for a conservative candidate. Intellectual - You consider your mind amongst your assets. Learning is not a chore but a constant search after wisdom and knowledge. You value education and rationality.

Your Top Ten Traits 1. Big-Hearted 2. Liberal 3. Intellectual 4. Stylish 5. Religious 6. Adventurous 7. Wealthy/Ambitious 8. Outgoing 9. Romantic 10. Traditional

Your date match profile: Intellectual - You seek out intelligence. Idle chit-chat is not what you are after. You prefer your date who can stimulate your mind. Practical - You are drawn to people who are sensible and smart. Flashy, materialistic people turn you off. You appreciate the simpler side of living. Religious - You seek someone who is grounded in faith and who possesses religious values. You believe that a religious person can enhance your life.

Your Top Ten Match Traits 1. Intellectual 2. Practical 3. Religious 4. Conservative 5. Traditional 6. Outgoing 7. Big-Hearted 8. Stylish 9. Adventurous 10. Athletic

Take the Dating Profile Quiz at Would I Date You

(Sounds like someone I know. Wahahahahaha... *dreams away*)

Days of the Chico Guild [Part I]: BBQ Rehearsal

Prior to the completion of mama's summer house, we had a raptai BBQ (it's a rehearsal because we're testing out the new settings of my garden patio) on the 2nd of Feb (which was way overdue, I know).

Demonstration Kung Fu Memanggang Zucchini.

Zucchini Cameron Highlands yang sudah masak.

Teknik memanggang ayam gaya Yan Choon.

Dua Batu Api menghangatkan api.

DJ Malat di sebalik kipas.

Sedap betul. Feeling hungry while posting all these pics. And yeah, I was in my office wear while BBQ-ing, so that I needn't waste another set of clothes.

And at the end there were fireworks on display clearly at my back garden. I had to watch it from my bathroom because I was halfway showering. Cis.

The summer house is completed now. Anyone coming down Ipoh, we should go up Camerons to get sweet corn, potatoes, zucchinis, whatever and panggang at my house. We can have official BBQ sessions from now on yay.

Chabai

I suppose the emotional hi-lows I experience now are minor waves as compared to when I was in Inti. I am amused as to how easily I swing from one mood to another. Honestly, it's strange to feel positive and euphoric and immediately feeling rotten in a span of micro-seconds.

*makes note to self to research on bipolar medications*

I am *quite* alone this whole week. Everyone has left to elsewhere. Rather happy, rather sad. Happy because I'm left alone to *figure* things out without any distractions and social obligations. Sad because, I'm afraid if I get too comfy being alone, I'm really going to be alone.

Happy news:

I wished I had moar time! I love my Japanese classes! I need more time to study my Mandarin too! I wish to have more sleep.. My client reminded me today that I needed to keluar berdating. I replied I dating-lah sama kerja I. Ada masa lebih baik tidur. Dating dalam mimpi. LoL.

I might take up water colours with the sensei of my sensei who is the founder of the Perak Art Foundation *cerita lama*. He's like the sage of watercolours, paints from his imagination rather than having reference. Thinks I'll have fun with that. Next, I'm thinking of apprenticing with an international photography studio (can't believe I found one in IPOH! XoX). Pay is not the 'glammest', but the satisfaction and fun makes the blood shoot up my brain! Besides, I have business running on the side...

Talked to Kai-ma, said I could work half day in the firm if I'd like (and spend the rest of the day doing the stuff I like). I'm like... yay, I'm a lawyer-artist-business woman-photographer-boss of my sister's F&B business-future CEO of my own franchising brand-real estate broker, so glam.

Flips Over

I broke my intended budget in HK. XP

There are new faces in the office. It would significantly boost up my work performance if there was a healthy amount of eye candy (m/f alike).

Po is out of ICU into the hemodialysis. Atmosphere is somewhat grim because everyone is uncertain what will happen in the next few weeks/months. I prefer not to comment because it's a touchy issue. There's been way too many people leaving within the last 6 months that the thoughts of attending another funeral paralyzes me internally.

Have been on emotional highs and lows for the past few weeks or so, I'm feeling relatively numb and unmotivated at the moment.

---

In the last 7 seconds, I experienced an intense and overwhelming surge of dissatisfaction rising within myself.

I wanted this.
(The guy with boyish good looks, dimples on cheek and wrinkles at the side of his eyes when he pulls his goofy smile. *sigh*)

But I can't decide when I also want THIS. (Prince Ji Hoo *kya*)


And I want to look like this.

I Can Change

You Can Change Your Life

You've probably already improved your life a great deal, and you're no stranger to change. You're able to make very difficult changes in your life. It's all about state of mind. And even if you have some trouble changing, you're smart enough to get support or take a different approach. So go ahead and dare to make things better. You know you can do it!

Can You Change Your Life?

NaruxSasu Unresolved XXXual Tension

The Anime Ending.



The live version by my favourite cosplay group. Fus.

(Kishimoto, I will never forgive you for what you did to Hinata.)

HELP

God is with me, who can be against me? Thank God for God.

Work today just hacked off 3 quality years of my health.

9:15 am I got screamed at by a client for 15 whole minutes for something that wasn't the Bank's fault. To pacify his fury, I offered to personally deliver his documents to the Bank (who kept my documents for over a week, forgot to sign

10:00 am Kai Ma had to drive me out to Pengkalan which is 20 minutes away into the wilderness to get a client so sign something. After signing, he dared ask me why he can't come to our office to sign. Well I did ask him to come for the past whole week, sent fax, multiple voicemails and messages and he never bothered to come. Cis.

But Everything Means Nothing, If I Ain't Got You

...does he feel the same way?

IMHO, our relationship as more than friends is so bleak, I feel as if I will most probably die trying. Its like having all the problems of a relationship compressed into a nuclear bomb and I'm here trying to diffuse the bomb with the little knowledge and experience I have.

Strange.

I feel like talking about it but I don't feel like talking about it. Bleh.

I Just Want To SLEEP

*Sigh*

If there is a sure fire effective prescription for PMS, someone please give it to me. (Desperately swallowing B6 and Evening Primrose Oil) My biological make-up is so difficult to live with. Imagine having things which are bothering and depressing you amplified at least 30 times. Add in the confusion, guilt, fear, insecurity and negativity. Sometimes I get so impatient and frustrated with myself, the reason being that I have to be 'perfect' with my actions and decisions. I could be too judgemental and harsh on myself, but the opposing view is that I cannot settle for second best or make self-detrimental compromises. HOW???

Right now, my head is like a mailbox bursting with complaint and advise letters alike. One says this, one says another, but both have points. And my heart is torn in between without say.

I feel crap. Between the span of 6 months, I'm loosing the things I love one by one and it doesn't show signs of ending yet.

It's one thing to fight for the career and life that you want. 7 years have lapsed and I've been defeated countless times but eventually I somehow become even more determined to be stronger, wiser and more certain with my choice.

I'm unsure about fighting for the person you love...

The f*k is love?
a. Hollywood - the glitz and glamour, the sparks and passion and the neverending drama.
b. Fairytale - the prince and the princess lives happily ever after after the prince slays the dragon, the evil witch, the ugly goblins and proves his undying love to the princess whom he saves from the enchanted castle.
c. Sex and the City - win some lose some, but do it in style, all is cool.
d. Reality - a bunch of messed up sh*t all put together; good or bad alike.

One thing I learnt from my first relationship is about the doom of having an idealistic mindset of a perfect match (and a perfect person). I'm the kind of person who is so afraid of making mistakes that it creates more opportunities of making mistakes.